Once in a Lifetime

 Week Thirty-two: Once in a Lifetime

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack

And you may find yourself in another part of the world

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?”

—Talking Heads, Once in a Lifetime, from the album Remain in Light

Actually I don’t ask myself how I got here, but I do sometimes shake my head at how absolutely fortunate I have been in my first seventy years to be “here” or anywhere for that matter.  Not so long ago as I pulled into the driveway of the house we recently bought, Once in a Lifetime came on the radio, and although I do not sing well, that never stops me especially when I hear songs like this one. And on this day like every other day I immediately thought about how I might use this song to tell my story. I guess it was the irony of pulling into the driveway of our new “beautiful house” as David Byrne sang the words, but it was actually the line that asks, “How did I get here?” that helped me start composing.

Allow me to start somewhere in the middle of my story. In 1993 I was promoted to assistant principal and assigned to Catonsville High School in the Baltimore County Public Schools. I joined Deb on staff as she was the bookkeeper at CHS. My first day was in July so there were no students, therefore the staff could eat lunch together. On one such day that summer one of the guidance counselors was reminiscing about his days at Kenwood High School. KHS is where both Deb and I attended and graduated. 

Neither of us remembered him.

He described a program of which he was especially proud. It took only a few moments before Deb and I recognized the program because we both participated in it. Instead of “study hall” (where students sat in the auditorium or cafeteria instead of attending a class) students could volunteer at local elementary schools. I have only fond memories of my time in that program. Deb and I were both assigned to Mars Estates Elementary School. Because of that experience I decided to make public education my career.

We listened to his description of the program, and it came as a total surprise that it was designed to motivate students who were considering dropping out. Dropping out? Huh? I thought it was a program for students who thought study hall was a tedious waste of time.

After four years at Salisbury State College, sure enough my first career goal was met. I became a fifth grade teacher at Victory Villa Elementary. I have many, many wonderful memories from my years as an elementary school teacher, and as I sat in the driveway listening to the Talking Heads several came flooding back to me. Perhaps I should preface my stories by saying that things were different then. There was accountability, but I always felt like I was free to be me, and even now as I recall those days I shake my head at the stuff I did. For example I once sent a student across the street to buy gummy candy for the class as a reward for good behavior. Yikes! 

Here’s another example:

In those days we had a science unit on health and well-being. The unit dealt with anatomy and the very basics of reproduction. As you might imagine, “how to” was not a part of the curriculum. Although I do not remember the specifics, I do recall that during the last week of the unit boys and girls were separated for instruction. In my class, during the last five minutes of class I permitted the boys to ask any question they had. There were two rules: a question could not be personal, and a boy could not mention anyone by name. As it turned out the last day of the unit was a Friday. With only minutes to go before the boys returned to their homeroom teacher, we had the candid question session. Seated in a circle, no one seemed to have a question. “Are you sure?” I asked. There was a nervous tension and some giggling to go with it. “”What’s up? I asked them. “What’s going on?” 

The nervous laughter increased. David raised his hand. I called on him. To this day I believe David was chosen because he alone had the nerve to ask the question they all wanted to ask. With mere seconds to go before the students would leave, David asked, “When you had sex, was it fun?”

Those priceless days would prove essential as my career progressed. From there I went on to become a middle school language arts teacher, an English department chair, a high school assistant principal, and finally the principal of Overlea High School. When my presence was just too much to bear for one of the staff members, he complained to the superintendent claiming, “We have an elementary school teacher as our principal!” to which I responded, “I guess that means it’s not that hard.”

As for David, he had violated the cardinal rules, he had mentioned me and it could not have been more personal. Neither occurred to me when I answered, “Riding a bike and swimming are fun. Sex is not like either one of those.”

The room could not have been more silent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IsSpAOD6K8