Deacon Blues

 Week Nineteen: Deacon Blues

They got a name for the winners in the world

I want a name when I lose.

They call Alabama the Crimson Tide

Call me Deacon Blues

--Steely Dan, Deacon Blues from Aja

Ever get a tune stuck in your head? It happens to me all the time. Ever since we asked Alexa to play music by Steely Dan, Deacon Blues has played over and over in my head. That might have been ok if I actually knew the words. Instead I had “They call Alabama the Crimson Tide” in a loop. I might be exaggerating a tad, but for days this song haunted me. I actually Googled the lyrics just to add another line or two to the one line I knew. It also got me thinking about nicknames.

My given name was shortened to Jay. My brother, Lawrence became Larry and most times even now he goes by Lar. In the same tradition that Theodore Clever was known as Beaver, my father called me Worm, which had everything to do with my inability to sit still. No harm there, you might agree, but his “nickname” for a heavyset child was Porky; still agree?

I’ve decided that there is a difference between nicknames and name-calling. One  endears and one insults. You know, the Pie sisters Honey and Sweetie vs. the Ass brothers Jack and Dumb. I often use both types. I’m certain I’m not alone. My wife of 51 years has been Wum (as in “woman”) for five decades. She has become Gwaz or Gwazze (the best a granddaughter learning to talk could pronounce Granny). I still call my son Beam. I call my grandson, Andrew, Manny (a derivative of Little Man, which at 6’1” he no longer is!) On the other hand, drivers who accelerate when they see a yellow traffic light or those who run red lights get called names instantaneously. They give me reason to use all my bad words.

I wonder if there is a real difference between insulting nicknames and name-calling. 

Calling people names is as natural as it is childish. Names like dummy, scaredy-cat, and liar aren’t really nicknames; are they? But watch the news almost any evening and you’ll see a former American President using nicknames such as Crazy Bernie, Pocahontas, Birdbrain, Horseface, and Crooked Joe. A 77 year old man who once held one of the most important positions of leadership in the history of civilization does not hesitate to call people names. He has created nicknames by using modifiers like shifty, deranged, and goofy. He has referred to the people he finds threatening as phony, wacky, and broken. He seems not to have a limit to his need to belittle others.

It occurred to me that perhaps he wasn’t the only former President to have such a propensity. A little research revealed that sure enough George W. Bush also had this habit. He used nicknames such as Poppy for his father, Bushie for his wife, and Pootie-Poot for Vladimir Putin. He called British Prime Minister Tony Blair Landslide. He often referred to his political rival Barack Obama as Rock.

The difference between the two men is as apparent as it is appalling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iac-vLq6tnY